Monday, April 27, 2009

Normal Life

So i'm starting to feel normal again for the first time in a long time. Sort of weird. I got in some part-time hours last week and I'm trying to get to as close to a full week in this week. It's just odd. When you learn to live dreading the next test it's kind of odd to think this could be over, at least for awhile. It's still a great feeling though. Probably most excited to be able to work out and play some golf and not feel like sleeping all day. Amazing how the world passes you by when all you can think about is waking up to eat and going back to bed. Not that, that wasn't important in the recovery it was just very frustrating to feel like i was getting better. But now everyday seems to be better and stronger. Although i am amazingly weak. I am attempted sit-ups tonight and failed miserably. Guess that's gonna take some time. but I'm excited to throw myself back into life, even if it only ends up being for a year or two before we have to try something else. I obviously pray it's not and believe after all this I have so much to share it's time to get moving. Gonna get to lead worship in a few weeks which is always awesome. Even on weeks when i am dragging to get setup by the time people are singing and worshipping it's worth every moment of the practices and setup. Hopefully the radiation shouldn't keep me from getting back to singing too long. The side effects seem not wonderful but compared to the last 3 months i say bring it on. So here i am ready to jump off a cliff back into my so called life. I think the one thing i most want to hold onto and not forget is how much i long to do something amazing. Something that transforms or effects people. I have seen already the love and compassion from people that comes by first thinking of others and i can only hope that somehow my life will be worth such sacrifices. Not that i don't long for normalcy again, but i am setting myself to be committed to changing people's lives, whatever that influence is. If it's sharing my story from my cubicle at work or traveling the world, i think God has a plan. I know He does. I just don't want to get in the way of that. Keep praying for strength and my radiation which starts up in a week. I have some reservations but I do trust my Dr that this is the right thing to do at this point. Pray if it's not that it's obvious. God certainly has answered that prayer before. See ya

1 comment:

Dennis Pyritz, RN said...

Congratulations! Great Blog! I have added you to my blogroll - Cancer Blog Links at www.beingcancer.net
Take Care, dennis

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